Every week I gather feedback from you, our Wisdom Weekly Crew, and there has been a lot of you asking for the Wisdom Weekly to appear earlier in the day on Sunday. So, after much discussion, we're making the change!
Now, you can enjoy the Paper Napkin Wisdom Weekly with your Sunday morning Coffee (if you're in North America) ... or afternoon tea, if you're in Europe ... or your evening beverage, if you're in Asia.
Thanks for the feedback!
In this week's Paper Napkin Wisdom Weekly:
- TL:DR
- Paper Napkin Wisdom Preview
- Why Some People Find a Way to Win (and How Leaders Can Nurture It)
- Focus–Align–Act: The Science of Competition in Action
- Two Blueprints, Need One?
- Week in Review
- Let’s Grow This Together
TL;DR – The Science of Winning: Why (And How) Great Leaders Build Bigger Wins
What do a competitive drive, a growth mindset, and a collaborative spirit have in common?
They’re the true ingredients behind those who find ways to win — and those who create wins for others along the way.
In the first post, we dive into why:
🧠 Competition is partly hardwired — but it’s mindset and environment that shape how fiercely (and wisely) we compete.
⚡ Winners aren’t necessarily the most talented — they’re often the most resilient, persistent, and prepared.
🌎 Winning isn't a limited resource — leaders who focus on integrated, win-win outcomes create bigger futures.
💬 Science shows that abundance mindsets fuel better innovation, stronger teams, and lasting success.
The big idea?
Winning is powerful — but winning together builds something even bigger.
Then, we bring the Focus–Align–Act framework into play:
FOCUS on cultivating expansive success instead of zero-sum thinking.
ALIGN your team's mindset around collaboration, grit, and shared wins.
ACT by redefining success, rewarding persistence, and building resilience into your culture.
Together, these posts call you to rethink what it really means to compete — and what it truly takes to win.
Because leadership isn’t about beating others to the prize.
It’s about expanding the game for everyone involved.
Paper Napkin Wisdom Podcast Preview
This is the only place where we give you a sneak peek into what's coming up on Paper Napkin Wisdom. Remember to share this with anyone who needs to hear these messages.
Episode 238: Jim Kaveney, entrepreneur and tech innovator, explores how curiosity and humility fuel game-changing leadership. In this episode, he reveals why the courage to change your mind might be your greatest competitive edge.
Episode 239: Darcel Dillard-Suite, a national speaker, executive life coach, and certified wellness and sports social work consultant.As co-founder and president of Full Circle Health, she leads initiatives that blend mental wellness with cultural sensitivity, offering holistic solutions to personal and professional challenges.
Episode 240: Borzou Azabdaftari, Founder and CEO of The Falcon Lab, shares how clarity, conviction, and creative risk-taking fuel entrepreneurial growth. We explore how leaders can align personal identity with bold action to unlock meaningful momentum. This episode is full of sharp insights you’ll want to revisit again and again.
Episode 241: Marina Byezhanova, co-founder of Brand of a Leader and a global advocate for radical authenticity, discusses how embracing your true self can amplify your leadership and personal brand. In this episode, she shares insights on building a legacy through genuine expression and the power of saying "yes" to transformative opportunities.
Episode 242: Karen Kossow, the inspiring force behind Out of Your Ordinary, where she helps individuals and teams break through limits and discover extraordinary possibilities within themselves. With a passion for personal growth, bold action, and creating impact, Karren empowers people to live beyond the ordinary every day.
Episode 243: Michael Walsh, founder of Walsh Business Growth, is a powerhouse strategist dedicated to helping entrepreneurs and leaders unlock transformative growth through clarity, alignment, and action. This marks the first in an extraordinary and exclusive series celebrating the release of his new book, showcasing insights that are reshaping the future of business leadership.
Stay connected with Paper Napkin Wisdom on Apple, YouTube, and Spotify to be the first to hear these incredible episodes!
Why Some People Find a Way to Win (and How Leaders Can Nurture It)
We’ve all seen it: two people, standing side-by-side, facing the same challenge.
One digs deeper, fights harder, finds a way to win.
The other fades.
Why?
Is the drive to compete something we’re born with? Can it be nurtured? And — perhaps even more importantly — is winning always the highest prize?
Let's dig in.
The Biology of Competition: Wired for the Fight?
First, it turns out that competition is, at least partly, hardwired into us.
Research shows that humans (like most social animals) have evolved to compete — for resources, mates, status, and survival.
At the biological level, competition triggers a dopamine surge — the brain’s reward chemical. When we win or even anticipate winning, the dopamine rush motivates us to keep striving.
A 2013 study found that competitive success activates the brain’s reward centers, particularly the ventral striatum, reinforcing the drive to compete again.
But not all brains are wired the same way.
Genetic differences — particularly in the dopamine receptor gene (DRD4) — can influence how intensely someone feels the "rush" from competition.
Environmental factors like early childhood experiences, role modeling, and feedback loops also massively shape competitive instincts.
In short:
Some people are born with more “fight,” but the environment either fuels it or dims it.
Why Some People Always Find a Way to Win
It’s not just biology.
Mindset matters — a lot.
Dr. Angela Duckworth’s concept of grit — passion and perseverance for long-term goals — suggests that winning often comes down to persistence more than talent.
Her research shows that gritty individuals treat failure as feedback, not defeat. They stay in the game longer, giving themselves more chances to succeed.
Additionally, a Stanford study found that people who believe that success is self-determined (an internal locus of control) are more resilient competitors. They don’t blame external forces — they adjust, adapt, and act.
Bottom line:
Winners aren’t just faster or stronger — they’re often just more willing to stay in the ring when others leave.
Is Winning a Limited Resource?
This is where things get really interesting.
Most people grow up believing that winning is a zero-sum game:
If I win, you lose. If you win, I lose.
But that’s not always true — especially in leadership, business, and life.
Research on abundance mindset (popularized by Stephen Covey and backed by studies like this one) shows that collaborative models outperform competitive ones in the long term.
Companies that foster cooperation instead of cutthroat competition have higher innovation rates, better retention, and more sustainable success.
In leadership, the best "winners" don’t just grab the prize — they expand the playing field.
They create more wins for more people.
Win-Win vs Win-Lose: What Great Leaders Understand
Distributive wins (win-lose) are about fighting over a fixed pie.
Integrated wins (win-win) are about making the pie bigger.
In negotiation science, integrative negotiation is considered far superior — producing better deals, stronger relationships, and lasting outcomes.
Leaders who master win-win thinking:
- Build trust inside and outside their teams
- Create cultures of high performance without burnout
- Develop people who compete with themselves, not against each other
Win-win leadership isn't soft. It’s strategic, sustainable, and smarter.
And yes — it can absolutely be taught and nurtured.
How Leaders Can Nurture Integrated Winning Within Teams
If we want to nurture integrated, expansive competitiveness in teams — not destructive, cutthroat competition — here’s what the science and experience both suggest:
- Model an Abundance Mindset
Leaders need to show — not just say — that success is not limited. Celebrate shared wins. Reward collaboration.
(Harvard Business Review points out that visible collaborative behaviors in leadership are the biggest driver of team behavior.)
- Redefine Winning
Make it clear: Winning isn't stepping over teammates — it's pushing each other to be better. Teams that know they can "all win" are far more innovative and resilient.
- Create Positive-Sum Goals
Set targets that require collaboration to achieve. Examples: cross-functional projects, team bonuses, innovation prizes for group efforts.
- Coach on Mindset, Not Just Skillset
Invest in teaching resilience, growth mindset, and emotional regulation. (Research from Carol Dweck shows that teams trained in growth mindset outperform "fixed mindset" teams, even when starting with lower skills.)
- Reward Grit, Not Just Results
Celebrate persistence, not just wins.
Normalize failing forward. Make failure a step, not a scarlet letter.
Final Thought
Competition is part of who we are — but how we compete, and why, can be consciously shaped.
Winning is not a limited resource.
Leaders who understand this unlock bigger possibilities — for themselves, for their teams, and for the future they’re building.
The real magic?
Not winning against others — but winning with them.
Focus–Align–Act: The Science of Competition in Action
Now that we understand the science behind competition — and the critical difference between zero-sum and win-win thinking — here’s how you can Focus, Align, and Act to bring this insight to life in your leadership and team.
🎯 Focus: Choose the Right Frame for Winning
Winning is not a limited resource.
Focus your leadership lens on expansive competition, not restrictive competition.
Ask yourself and your team:
- Are we competing against each other or with each other?
- Are we fighting for a piece of the pie, or growing the whole pie?
- Are we defining success by beating others or by elevating ourselves and those around us?
Focus on nurturing internal drive and collaborative outcomes — not just scoreboard victories.
Simple Focus Question:
“What’s the bigger win we can create together?”
🔄 Align: Shift Mindsets, Not Just Metrics
Once your focus is right, align your culture to it.
- Redefine what winning means inside your organization.
- Incentivize collaboration over individual domination.
- Normalize grit, resilience, and effort — not just final results.
- Model abundance thinking every day.
Alignment Checklist for Leaders:
- ✅ Celebrate team achievements publicly
- ✅ Design goals that require cross-functional teamwork
- ✅ Give feedback that rewards effort, resilience, and shared success
Alignment Mantra:
“In this team, we grow the pie together.”
🚀 Act: Build Competitive Grit and Collaborative Wins
Knowing and saying it isn’t enough — we have to act on it.
Start small, move fast:
- Run a team session where you redefine success together.
- Create a challenge where shared wins (not solo victories) are the goal.
- Recognize someone publicly each week who showed grit or collaboration, not just a final outcome.
- Build personal resilience exercises into your team rhythms — like short reflections on lessons learned from setbacks.
Simple Action Steps This Week:
- 🎯 Host a "bigger pie brainstorm" at your next meeting.
- 🎯 Start every project by identifying how multiple wins can happen.
- 🎯 End meetings with: "What did we do today that helped all of us win?"
Challenge
When we Focus on expansive success, Align our mindsets and culture to it, and Act with intention, we stop treating winning like a scarce commodity.
We become the leaders — and build the teams — who always find a way to win… together.
Two Blueprints, Need One?
The Demand Blueprint gives you a simple, battle-tested system to attract more leads, convert them into loyal customers, and scale with confidence.
With small, actionable steps and a four-week plan, this guide will help you fix the root cause of weak demand, build trust-based sales relationships, and create real-time engagement that drives sustainable growth.
The Demand Blueprint is usually $9.99, but as a Paper Napkin Wisdom subscriber, you save 50%. For just $5, you’ll get a clear, step-by-step roadmap to help you move from inconsistent sales to predictable, scalable growth.
The Profit Blueprint (an e-book) gives you a simple, battle-tested system to take control of your finances—whether in your business or your household. With small, actionable steps and a four week plan, this guide will help you stop running out of money and start building financial freedom. The Profit Blueprint is usually $9.99 but as a Paper Napkin Wisdom subscriber you save 50%. For just $5, you’ll get a clear, step-by-step roadmap to turn profit into a habit, not an accident.
Week in review
This week on the Paper Napkin Wisdom podcast, we explored two transformative episodes that tackled impactful themes of leadership, resilience, and harnessing potential.
In Episode 236, Mark Rypien, Super Bowl MVP, reveals that the real secret to winning big isn’t luck — it’s preparation. Sharing his Paper Napkin Wisdom, “Preparation + Opportunity = Success,” Mark dives into the mindset that carried him through personal challenges and to the highest levels of professional football. He reminds us that greatness is not about waiting for a break, but about putting in the unseen work so that when opportunity appears, you’re ready to seize it. This conversation is a powerful call for entrepreneurs and leaders alike: stay ready, stay prepared, and success will find you. Listen now on Apple.
In Episode 237, Dr. Heidi Hanna — renowned stress and resilience expert and great contributor to Paper Napkin Wisdom— returns to share powerful insights into how leaders and high performers can reframe their relationship with stress to unlock greater energy and performance. Her Paper Napkin Wisdom, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf,” captures the essence of her message: stress isn’t the enemy, it’s an energy to be managed and mastered. Through personal stories and cutting-edge neuroscience, Heidi shows how the rhythms of rest, recovery, and resilience are essential to sustainable success, offering practical tools for entrepreneurs and difference-makers to thrive in today’s high-pressure world. Listen now on Apple.
Check them out here:
