Every week I gather feedback from you, our Wisdom Weekly Crew, and there has been a lot of you asking for the Wisdom Weekly to appear earlier in the day on Sunday. So, after much discussion, we're making the change!
Now, you can enjoy the Paper Napkin Wisdom Weekly with your Sunday morning Coffee (if you're in North America) ... or afternoon tea, if you're in Europe ... or your evening beverage, if you're in Asia.
Thanks for the feedback!
In this week's Paper Napkin Wisdom Weekly:
- TL:DR
- Paper Napkin Wisdom Preview
- Holding Space for Uncomfortable Conversations
- Focus–Align–Act: How Great Leaders Embrace Disagreement
- Two Blueprints, Need One?
- Week in Review
- Let’s Grow This Together
TL;DR – The Courage to Converse: Why (And How) Great Leaders Embrace Disagreement
What do discomfort, curiosity, and radical authenticity have in common?
They’re the essential ingredients for leaders who build trust, connection, and innovation—especially when perspectives collide.
We explore why:
🧠 Our brains are wired to resist opposing views, but growth demands we move beyond the echo chamber.
💥 Uncomfortable conversations aren't threats—they’re invitations to deepen understanding and expand thinking.
🫂 Holding space for disagreement builds bridges, not barriers—especially when trust, empathy, and openness lead the way.
💬 Tools like the Steelman technique, naming the tension, and literal table fellowship (breaking bread) help foster dialogue over division.
Then, we bring the Focus–Align–Act framework into play:
FOCUS on understanding, not agreement.
ALIGN your language, space, and mindset to invite honest, safe conversations.
ACT by engaging someone who thinks differently, asking deeper questions, and staying open.
🌍 Disagreement doesn’t make someone “not your people”—it often reflects lived experience, not opposition.
🧠 Neuroscience confirms we armor up quickly when we feel challenged, but vulnerability invites real connection.
❤️ Creating space to speak truth to power and challenge perspectives is a leadership superpower—when it’s done with respect.
🍽️ The ability to break bread after breaking beliefs apart is how cultures—and companies—stay whole.
The big idea?
You don’t have to agree to grow together—but you do have to listen. Leaders don’t avoid friction—they use it to create sparks of insight, trust, and transformation.
Paper Napkin Wisdom Podcast Preview
This is the only place where we give you a sneak peek into what's coming up on Paper Napkin Wisdom. Remember to share this with anyone who needs to hear these messages.
Episode 240: Borzou Azabdaftari, Founder and CEO of The Falcon Lab, shares how clarity, conviction, and creative risk-taking fuel entrepreneurial growth. We explore how leaders can align personal identity with bold action to unlock meaningful momentum. This episode is full of sharp insights you’ll want to revisit again and again.
Episode 241: Marina Byezhanova, co-founder of Brand of a Leader and a global advocate for radical authenticity, discusses how embracing your true self can amplify your leadership and personal brand. In this episode, she shares insights on building a legacy through genuine expression and the power of saying "yes" to transformative opportunities.
Episode 242: Karen Kossow, the inspiring force behind Out of Your Ordinary, where she helps individuals and teams break through limits and discover extraordinary possibilities within themselves. With a passion for personal growth, bold action, and creating impact, Karren empowers people to live beyond the ordinary every day.
Episode 243: Michael Walsh, founder of Walsh Business Growth, is a powerhouse strategist dedicated to helping entrepreneurs and leaders unlock transformative growth through clarity, alignment, and action. This marks the first in an extraordinary and exclusive series celebrating the release of his new book, showcasing insights that are reshaping the future of business leadership.
Episode 244: Dustin Wells, founder of an Austin-based investment management firm dedicated to creating, building, and inspiring through strategic ventures. With a background in technology entrepreneurship and a passion for music, Dustin combines business acumen with creative insight to drive transformational growth.
Episode 245: Ari Galper, founder and CEO of Unlock The Game, renowned as the world's leading authority on trust-based selling.He revolutionizes traditional sales approaches by emphasizing authentic relationship-building over high-pressure tactics, guiding professionals to foster genuine trust with clients.
Stay connected with Paper Napkin Wisdom on Apple, YouTube, and Spotify to be the first to hear these incredible episodes!
Holding Space for Uncomfortable Conversations
We live in a time when the dinner table has become a battlefield.
When a difference of opinion—on politics, pandemic policies, climate, gender, race, leadership, you name it—feels like grounds for total rejection. Instead of asking curious questions, we hunker down in our ideological foxholes. We raise shields of certainty and sharpen our swords of self-righteousness.
And then we wonder why we feel so disconnected, frustrated, and misunderstood.
But what if disagreement isn’t something to be feared… but something to foster?
What if the most uncomfortable conversations are the ones that hold the deepest power—not to divide us, but to deepen us?
Why We Avoid Discomfort (Even When We Say We’re Open-Minded)
Let’s be honest: we don’t really like being challenged.
Even the most well-meaning among us have a tendency to surround ourselves with “like minds.” Confirmation bias—a deeply rooted cognitive shortcut—makes us more likely to seek and remember information that supports our beliefs. According to a study published in Trends in Cognitive Sciences, our brains literally reward us with dopamine when we’re told we’re right. It feels good to be reinforced.
Disagreement, on the other hand? It feels like threat.
Functional MRI scans show that when someone hears a counter-belief, their amygdala—the brain’s fear center—can light up as if under attack. No wonder we armor up so quickly. And in our increasingly curated digital lives, we’ve created echo chambers that further protect us from opposing ideas.
But here’s the truth most people don’t want to face:
Growth doesn’t happen inside the echo. It happens inside the friction.
The Wisdom of Sitting in the Tension
At Paper Napkin Wisdom, we believe big ideas often start small. On a napkin. In a moment of quiet clarity. And sometimes… in the heat of a hard conversation.
Holding space for uncomfortable dialogue isn’t about agreeing. It’s not even about compromise. It’s about creating the container where perspectives can be seen, heard, and honored—even when they clash.
Here’s the radical invitation:
Let’s stop trying to win the conversation and start trying to understand it.
Because when we do, something incredible happens. We make room for nuance. We soften our grip on certainty. And we build bridges where there were once only walls.
Why It's Hard to Let Go of “Being Right”
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of The Righteous Mind, notes that our moral reasoning is often post-hoc—we feel something first and then justify it later. Meaning, our beliefs aren’t built logically—they’re built emotionally.
That’s why when someone disagrees, it’s not just our idea being challenged—it’s our identity.
But here’s the paradox:
You don’t lose yourself by questioning your beliefs—you discover more of who you really are.
5 Tools to Create Space for Meaningful Disagreement
So how do we break through the barriers and make room for these critical conversations?
1. Name the Tension Before It Owns the Room
“This might get uncomfortable, but I think it’s worth sitting with.”
By naming the emotional elephant, you immediately lower the threat level. It invites mutual courage. Research from Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability shows that this kind of candor can significantly increase trust.
✅ Try this: Begin conversations by acknowledging the potential for tension and affirming your intent to listen, not to win.
2. Practice Active Curiosity (Instead of Active Listening)
“Help me understand how you see it.”
Active listening is good. Active curiosity is better. It shifts your energy from judgment to genuine inquiry. Neuroscience tells us that curiosity reduces defensiveness and boosts learning.
✅ Try this: Ask follow-up questions that dig into why someone thinks or feels a certain way—not just what they believe.
3. Suspend Certainty, Not Values
You don’t have to abandon your values to explore someone else’s. In fact, doing so can strengthen your values by understanding how they operate in the real world.
✅ Try this: Reflect: “Is it possible that someone who values [honesty, justice, love, etc.] just as much as I do might express that value differently based on their life experience?”
4. Use the “Steelman” Technique
Forget “strawmanning” (misrepresenting someone’s argument). Instead, try “steelmanning”—the act of rephrasing their perspective as strongly and fairly as possible.
✅ Try this: “So what I hear you saying is… [insert a clear, generous summary of their viewpoint]. Did I get that right?”
This signals deep respect—and often leads the other person to soften their own defenses.
5. Break Bread—Literally
There’s something sacred about sharing a meal. Anthropologists have long observed that communal eating fosters social bonding, empathy, and trust. It’s harder to dehumanize someone when you’ve passed them the potatoes.
✅ Try this: Invite people you disagree with to share a coffee, lunch, or casual meal. Not to debate. Just to be.
From Armored Up to Open Hearted
Let me be clear: holding space for uncomfortable conversations doesn’t mean tolerating hate. It doesn’t mean entertaining harm. But it does mean we need to get better at distinguishing between harm and discomfort. Between being unsafe and being challenged.
Because the greatest growth rarely comes from being agreed with. It comes from being stretched.
It comes from asking, “What if I’m missing something?”
It comes from choosing to lean in… when everything in us wants to walk away.
That’s the napkin-sized wisdom that builds wiser leaders, stronger teams, and a more united world.
Final Thought
Let’s stop cutting people out just because they see the world differently. Let’s stop saying “those aren’t my people” when someone challenges our assumptions. Instead, let’s hold space, open our hearts, and invite each other to break bread—not break down.
Because maybe—just maybe—that conversation you’ve been avoiding is the one that could change everything.
Focus-Align-Act: How Great Leaders Embrace Disagreement
🎯 FOCUS
“If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’ll find what you already believe.”
To hold space for disagreement without division, we first need to clarify why we want to engage.
Key Questions to Focus Your Intention:
- What do I actually want from this conversation—understanding, connection, or to be right?
- What do I believe I might be missing in my current view?
- What fear or discomfort comes up when I imagine listening without defending?
Focus Point:
✅ Curiosity > Certainty
Make your primary goal understanding how someone arrived at their belief—not whether it matches yours.
🧭 ALIGN
“We can’t solve problems from the same mindset that created them.” – Einstein
Once you’re focused on seeking insight, the next step is aligning your actions and environment to support courageous conversation.
Ways to Align with Growth-Centered Dialogue:
- Create Safe, Brave Space: Let the other person know up front, “I’m not here to debate—I’m here to understand.”
- Schedule vs. Spontaneity: Set aside time for intentional conversations instead of reactive debates.
- Use Language That Invites, Not Incites: Swap “How can you think that?” with “Can you help me understand your thinking?”
Alignment Practices:
✅ Use the Steelman Technique: Summarize their point of view fairly and generously before offering yours.
✅ Use “I” statements to lower defenses: “I’ve been thinking about this differently lately…”
✅ Ground in shared values: “We both care about justice/love/truth—we just see it differently.”
🚀 ACT
“Uncomfortable doesn’t mean unsafe. It means you’re on the edge of growth.”
This is where most people get stuck. They read the article. They nod in agreement. And then… they avoid the conversation anyway.
Let’s change that.
Take Action in Real Life:
- Invite Someone to Talk. Pick one person who sees the world differently. Invite them to share their view—without interruption.
-
Journal the Experience. After the conversation, answer:
- What surprised me?
- What did I learn about myself?
- Where did I want to defend, and why?
-
Practice Micro-Moments. You don’t need a 2-hour sit-down to stretch. Try:
- Asking a coworker how they came to a different conclusion.
- Staying quiet 3 seconds longer before replying.
- Saying, “Tell me more.”
- Reframe Challenge as a Gift. Every time you feel friction, remind yourself: 🔥 “This is the part where I grow.”
✨ FAA in One Sentence:
FOCUS on understanding over agreement, ALIGN your environment for empathy and honesty, ACT by engaging in one meaningful, respectful disagreement this week.
Your Challenge: Write the phrase “I can grow from this discomfort” on a paper napkin and put it where you’ll see it. When the moment comes—when tension rises—take a breath, look at your napkin, and lean in.
Two Blueprints, Need One?
The Demand Blueprint gives you a simple, battle-tested system to attract more leads, convert them into loyal customers, and scale with confidence.
With small, actionable steps and a four-week plan, this guide will help you fix the root cause of weak demand, build trust-based sales relationships, and create real-time engagement that drives sustainable growth.
The Demand Blueprint is usually $9.99, but as a Paper Napkin Wisdom subscriber, you save 50%. For just $5, you’ll get a clear, step-by-step roadmap to help you move from inconsistent sales to predictable, scalable growth.
The Profit Blueprint (an e-book) gives you a simple, battle-tested system to take control of your finances—whether in your business or your household. With small, actionable steps and a four week plan, this guide will help you stop running out of money and start building financial freedom. The Profit Blueprint is usually $9.99 but as a Paper Napkin Wisdom subscriber you save 50%. For just $5, you’ll get a clear, step-by-step roadmap to turn profit into a habit, not an accident.
Week in review
This week on the Paper Napkin Wisdom podcast, we explored two transformative episodes that tackled impactful themes of leadership, resilience, and harnessing potential.
In Episode 238, James Kaveney, founder of Unlimited Heart, shares how personal adversity—from heartbreak to health challenges—shaped his philosophy that “challenges are teachers.” Rather than avoiding discomfort, Kaveney invites us to face it head-on, seeing vulnerability not as weakness but as a gateway to deeper empathy, connection, and purpose. His journey is a masterclass in reframing pain as fuel for leadership, revealing how open-heartedness can transform not only our own lives but also the lives of those we serve.
In Episode 239, Darcel Dillard-Suite, co-founder of Full Circle Health, shares her journey of building a resilient business rooted in holistic mental wellness.She emphasizes the importance of diversification, determination, and seeking strong financial guidance, drawing from her experiences of overcoming challenges and bootstrapping ventures with her husband.Darcel's insights serve as a blueprint for entrepreneurs aiming to create sustainable and impactful enterprises.
Check them out here:
