Have you ever noticed how, when there’s a gap in communication, it almost always gets filled with negative energy? A short text like “We need to talk” can spark worry. Silence after someone shares something can create doubt. Even polished words that don’t sound quite like us can feel “off” to the people who know us best.
Below I share a story about driving my son and his friends downtown and how our conversation about NLP, AI, and subtle shifts in language led to a bigger lesson for leaders: the importance of clearing the fog in our communication. When we add context, show authenticity, and share the why behind our decisions, we reduce uncertainty and build trust.
By the way - The Edge of the Napkin is coming soon ... it's a new weekly special episode starting August 24th.
In this week's Paper Napkin Wisdom Weekly:
- TL:DR
- Paper Napkin Wisdom Preview
- Clearing the Fog: Why Gaps in Communication Breed Negativity
- Focus–Align–Act: The Trust Crisis
- Week in Review
🧠 TL;DR – Clear the Fog in Communication
🧭 FOCUS
Whenever there’s a gap in communication, people fill it — and usually with negative energy. AI, silence, or over-polish can all create “fog” that makes others feel something is off.
🔹 Key Question: Where am I unintentionally creating fog in my communication?
🔹 Napkin Thought: A void in communication is never neutral — it gets filled with negativity.
🎯 ALIGN
Clarity is kindness. Authenticity is trust. Leaders reduce fog by giving context, naming the obvious, and sharing the why behind decisions.
🔹 Reframe: Communication isn’t about words alone — it’s about reducing uncertainty.
🔹 Mantra: “Clarity clears the fog. My words create trust.”
🚀 ACT
Practical steps to clear fog this week:
- Add context when you message or email.
- Acknowledge quickly, even if briefly.
- Make sure your words sound like you (not AI or “corporate speak”).
🔁 REMEMBER: Fog breeds negativity. Clarity builds trust. Leaders don’t leave space for others to guess — they close the gap.
Paper Napkin Wisdom Podcast Preview
This is the only place where we give you a sneak peek into what's coming up on Paper Napkin Wisdom. Remember to share this with anyone who needs to hear these messages.
Episode 283: Michael Walsh Freedom Series Pt 15: Michael shows how to prepare for unexpected change—stress-testing better/same/worse scenarios and building depth in both people and financial resources—so you can turn disruption into momentum.
Episode 284: Michael Walsh Freedom Series Pt 16 (Finale): Michael Walsh ties the entire Freedom Framework together—rethink the core, hire smart, train & grow people, focus on teams, grow managers, develop leaders, and prepare for unexpected change—into one practical pyramid playbook for scaling with resilience and real freedom.
Episode 285: Kendra MacDonald - CEO of Canada’s Ocean Supercluster shares how choosing one deliberate stretch-learning each year builds relevance, resilience, and outsized impact in the blue economy and beyond.
Episode 286: Introducing The Edge of the Napkin — the weekend series where bold, unpolished ideas meet practical action. Every episode takes you to the brink of possibility, where wisdom leaves the napkin and starts shaping your life and business. We will cover uncomfortable subjects, taboo ideas and cutting edge thinking every week - sometimes with very special guests.
Episode 287: Sam Toles has powered original content launches—from Vimeo’s breakout series High Maintenance to Bleacher Report’s celebrated programming, he blends storytelling and strategic innovation to redefine digital content across platforms.
Episode 288: Katy Spada brings over two decades of experience in program and product leadership—spanning roles at Microsoft, Intel, and beyond—founder of Ary + Mann a culturally inspired children's apparel brand.
shh ... stay tuned for more previews ... we're keeping things under wraps as we launch the Edge of the Napkin in next week's Wisdom Weekly!
Stay connected with Paper Napkin Wisdom on Apple, YouTube, and Spotify to be the first to hear these incredible episodes!
The Fog in Our Communication
The other night, I was driving my son and his friends downtown. They were buzzing with excitement, ready for a night out, and the conversation turned unexpectedly serious. We were all chatting about the Mastery-level NLP course I’ve been taking. They’d all heard about it, and rather than just nodding politely, they wanted to know what it was about.
Then one of them leaned forward and asked: “Have you talked about AI in the course?”
We had. And I told them about a thought that’s been sitting with me for a while — the fog that AI can create in our communication.
These three have been close friends for years. They know each other’s rhythms, their quirks, the little turns of phrase that belong to each of them. So I posed a question: “How do you know when something’s wrong with one of your friends?”
They thought for a moment, and then one of them said what all three agreed on: it’s subtle. Sometimes it’s a phrase that feels out of character, or a tone that doesn’t match the person they know. And when that happens, what’s the natural reaction? They assume something’s wrong. They fill the gap with worry or negativity: “What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?”
That’s when the connection clicked. AI, when it starts speaking for us, changes our voice in small but noticeable ways. The rhythm, the phrasing, the tone — they shift. And just like when a close friend uses a word they never normally use, people notice. They sense something “off.” And when there’s a gap in understanding, human beings are wired to fill it — and usually with negative energy.
But here’s the real lesson: AI is just one type of fog. As leaders, we create fog in our communication all the time, often without realizing it. And when we leave that space unaddressed, people around us — our teams, our partners, even our families — will fill it with their own stories. And those stories almost always tilt negative.
The Fogs Leaders Create
1. The Fog of Assumptions
Imagine sending a quick text that says: “We need to talk.” In your mind, it’s neutral. But for the receiver, it’s loaded. Their imagination runs wild: “Am I in trouble? Did I make a mistake? What’s wrong?” That tiny lack of clarity gets filled with worry.
Clear the Fog: Add context. Say, “We need to talk about that great idea you had — let’s connect tomorrow.” Same number of words, totally different energy.
2. The Fog of Silence
When someone sends you an update and hears nothing back, silence isn’t neutral. It’s filled with doubt. “Did they even read it? Was it good enough? Do they even care?”
Clear the Fog: Acknowledge, even briefly. “Got it — thanks, I’ll review later.” One line can prevent hours of self-doubt.
3. The Fog of Over-Polish
Overly scripted “corporate speak” or messages run through three rounds of editing lose authenticity. People who know your natural voice sense that something’s missing, and trust erodes.
Clear the Fog: Speak like yourself. Even in professional settings, your quirks, tone, and natural rhythm build connection.
4. The Fog of Unspoken Emotions
Leaders sometimes avoid naming what’s obvious — tension, mistakes, bad news — thinking silence will smooth it over. It doesn’t. People feel the undercurrent anyway and start inventing stories.
Clear the Fog: Call it out. Say, “This setback is tough. Here’s how we’ll move forward.” Acknowledgement is often more powerful than solutions.
5. The Fog of Digital Mediation
Digital tools strip away tone and body language. A simple “ok” in Slack can be read as passive-aggressive, dismissive, or angry depending on who’s reading it.
Clear the Fog: Add tone markers. Use emojis, voice notes, or — better yet — move sensitive conversations to a call or face-to-face.
6. The Fog of Missing “Why”
Leaders often communicate the what — the decision — without the why. When people don’t understand the reasoning, they invent their own. And those stories tend toward suspicion: “They don’t trust us,” or “this must be political.”
Clear the Fog: Share your thought process. Even if people don’t agree, they’ll respect the transparency.
The Bigger Lesson
Every void in communication gets filled. That’s human nature. And without clarity, authenticity, and context, the filler is almost always negative.
That’s why leaders have a responsibility not just to communicate, but to close the gaps. To clear the fog. To make sure people aren’t left guessing.
The practice of NLP is all about noticing language patterns, being intentional with how we use words, and being aware of how others receive them. Leadership communication is no different. Clarity is kindness. Authenticity is trust. And when we put our own fingerprints on our words, we shrink the fog that creeps into our relationships.
What About You?
Think about your own communication. Where might you be creating fog without realizing it? Is it in the quick texts that lack context? The silence after someone shares something important? The moments when you avoid acknowledging what everyone already knows?
This week, pick one area to clear the fog. Add context, name the emotion, or share the why. Watch how it changes the energy in the room.
🧠 Focus–Align–Act: Clearing the Fog in Communication
🧭 FOCUS
When there’s a gap in communication, people don’t leave it blank — they fill it. And nine times out of ten, they fill it with negative energy.
- A text without context (“We need to talk”).
- Silence after someone shares.
- A voice that doesn’t sound like your own (even when “polished” by AI).
Each of these creates fog. And fog breeds doubt, suspicion, and mistrust.
🔹 Key Question: Where am I unintentionally creating fog in my communication?
🔹 Napkin Insight: A communication void is never neutral — it is almost always filled with negative energy.
🎯 ALIGN
As leaders, clarity is kindness and authenticity is trust. We can’t stop people from feeling, but we can reduce how much fog we create.
- Replace assumption with context.
- Replace silence with acknowledgement.
- Replace over-polish with authenticity.
- Replace avoidance with truth.
- Replace missing why with transparent reasoning.
By aligning our intent with our expression, we shrink the void and leave less room for negativity to grow.
🔹 Reframe: Communication isn’t just about sending information — it’s about reducing uncertainty.
🔹 Mantra:“Clarity clears the fog. My words create trust.”
🚀 ACT
Here are three practical steps to clear communication fogs this week:
- Contextualize Messages
– Add why and what when you text, email, or Slack. Don’t let brevity create anxiety.
- Acknowledge Quickly
– Even a one-line response (“Got this — reviewing later”) prevents people from spiraling.
- Audit Your Voice
– Check your emails, posts, and AI drafts. Do they sound like you? If not, add your fingerprints before sending.
🔹 Napkin Insight: When you shrink the fog, you shrink the space for negativity.
🔁 REMEMBER
Leadership communication is not about perfect words — it’s about owning your voice, sharing context, and leaving no fog for others to fill.
Week in Review
In Episode 281, Pete Olander shares how he built wellness brands like Natural Recovery Greens and Happie by focusing on products that combine taste, efficacy, and accessibility while navigating fast-changing markets and regulations. Drawing on experiences from banking, nutrition, and motorsports, Pete emphasizes designing for real-world usage, staying close to customer signals, and building operations that assume volatility rather than avoid it. His story is a masterclass in leading with clarity, resilience, and customer obsession at the edge of what’s next.
In Episode 282, global entrepreneur, leadership coach, bestselling author, and mountaineer Saahil Mehta, brings high-altitude clarity to everyday leadership. Saahil teaches how to live a zero-regret life by pinpointing your most meaningful “summits,” clearing mental and calendar clutter—because “clutter is nothing more than shunned confrontations”—and building momentum through focus, endurance, and lighter living across mind, body, relationships, and material needs.
Check them out here:
