Stop Running From Pain: The Leadership Shift That Creates Momentum
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So many times in my past I caught myself saying things like “I need to lose weight” or “I need to pay off this debt.” Maybe you’ve said something similar. It’s the natural instinct to push away from pain.
And it works—at least for a while. But here’s the problem: once the pain fades, so does the motivation.
Leaders who really move the needle don’t just push away from pain. They get pulled toward vision. They connect so deeply with what they want that it becomes magnetic.
In this week’s blog, I share how to make that shift—and why it’s one of the most powerful moves a leader can make.
The Edge of the Napkin is now live. Catch it every week on Paper Napkin Wisdom. Uncomfortable conversations, fresh ideas, different perspectives, check it out!
In this week's Paper Napkin Wisdom Weekly:
- Paper Napkin Wisdom Preview
- From Pushing Away Pain to Pulling Toward Vision: The Leader’s Shift
- Focus–Align–Act: How to Switch and Pull Toward Vision
- Week in Review
🧠 TL;DR – Push vs Pull in Leadership
🧭 FOCUS
We often say things like “I need to lose weight” or “I need to get out of debt.” That’s pain pushing us to move. But pain fades—and so does the push.
🔹 Key Question: Am I running away from pain, or being pulled toward vision?
🔹 Napkin Thought: Energy fades when you push away from pain. Momentum builds when you pull toward vision.
🎯 ALIGN
Pain has strong push-power up close, but it weakens with distance. Vision’s pull feels faint when it’s far away—but grows stronger the closer you get. Leaders need to align with that pull.
🔹 Reframe: “I need to stop…” → “I am moving toward…”
🔹 Mantra:“I am pulled by vision, not pushed by pain.”
🚀 ACT
🔹 Visualize your ideal state daily.
🔹 Engage all five senses—see it, hear it, feel it, taste it, smell it.
🔹 Anchor it until it feels real today.
🔁 REMEMBER
Don’t just escape pain. Create possibility.
Note: you can read more about this below the preview.
Paper Napkin Wisdom Podcast Preview
This is the only place where we give you a sneak peek into what's coming up on Paper Napkin Wisdom. Remember to share this with anyone who needs to hear these messages.
Episode 290: Andrew Safnauer, the strategic advisor whose wildly eclectic journey—from radio production and launching an Emmy-winning creative studio, to building apparel brands and running exotic auto businesses—powers his unique approach to help leaders see the forest through the trees.
Episode 291: Jennifer McKenna, a C-Suite catalyst who melds emotional intelligence with strategic clarity shares her unique journey and Prosperity Formula.
Episode 292: The Edge of the Napkin pt 3 — the weekend series where bold, unpolished ideas meet practical action. Every episode takes you to the brink of possibility, where wisdom leaves the napkin and starts shaping your life and business. We will cover uncomfortable subjects, taboo ideas and cutting edge thinking every week - sometimes with very special guests.
... stay tuned for more previews ... we're keeping things under wraps as we continue to unveil the Edge of the Napkin!
Stay connected with Paper Napkin Wisdom on Apple, YouTube, and Spotify to be the first to hear these incredible episodes!
From Pushing Away Pain to Pulling Toward Vision: The Leader’s Shift
There are so many times in my past where I’d say things like, “I need to lose weight” or “I need to pay off this debt.” Sound familiar? For me, it was almost always about trying to move away from something that was painful in my life. And let’s be real—that’s a very human thing to do.
When we feel pain, we want it gone. Period. Marketing 101 even teaches us that people are motivated more by avoiding pain than by seeking pleasure. And in those moments, the pain of being overweight, in debt, or stuck in some other situation can feel sharp and powerful enough to make us want to move.
But here’s the truth: while that motivation is real—and sometimes very effective in the short term—leaders who want to truly move the needle need to go beyond pushing away from pain. The bigger shift is learning to focus on what you want in your ideal state.
The Gravity of Push and Pull
Think about it like this: both “moving away from pain” and “moving toward desire” have a gravitational pull around them. The closer you are to the pain, the stronger the force that pushes you away. That’s why when you’re standing on the scale and don’t like what you see, you suddenly feel that fire to make a change.
On the flip side, when you’re far away from your ideal vision—whether it’s health, wealth, or leadership impact—the pull toward it can feel weak, almost intangible. But here’s the magic: the closer you get to that vision, the stronger the pull becomes. Momentum builds, excitement grows, and the drive to reach the finish line intensifies.
The challenge for leaders is that the push away from pain fades the further we get from it. Losing 20 pounds feels motivating when you start, but less urgent once the weight is gone. Paying off that debt lights a fire, but once the balance is cleared, the push evaporates. That’s when people plateau—or worse, slide back.
The Leadership Shift
So, what do we do about this?
The answer is to stop living life by pushing away from what we don’t want and instead start pulling ourselves toward what we do want. Leaders who make this shift create sustained momentum—not just bursts of effort.
Here’s how to practice it:
- Focus on what you want as if it’s already real.
Not in some abstract, “someday” sense—but see it, feel it, and believe it as if it exists today.
- Get deeply connected to your vision.
Immerse yourself in the future you want. Stand in the middle of it in your mind. Pull the future into the present.
- Engage all your senses.
Ask yourself: What do you see when you’re there? What do you hear around you? How do you feel in your body? What do you taste? What do you smell? The more real it becomes, the stronger the pull.
Why This Works
When you lock in on what you truly want and embody it as if it’s already here, you’re no longer relying on the fleeting push of pain. You’re activating the pull of vision. That’s the kind of motivation that compounds over time. That’s what creates momentum that doesn’t fizzle out when the pain fades.
Great leaders know this: pushing away from what you don’t want can get you moving, but pulling toward what you do want keeps you growing.
So ask yourself today:
- Am I running away from pain, or am I being pulled toward vision?
- What would it look like if I focused all my energy on the win instead of the wound?
Because in the end, leaders who focus forward don’t just avoid pain—they create possibility.
🧠 Focus–Align–Act
From Pushing Away Pain to Pulling Toward Vision
🧭 FOCUS
Most of us start by saying things like “I need to lose weight” or “I need to get out of debt.” That’s moving away from pain. It’s real, it’s relatable, and it’s often where leaders begin.
But the deeper truth is this: pain only pushes us so far. To create lasting change, leaders must focus not on what they want to avoid, but on what they truly want to create.
🔹 Key Question: Am I running away from pain, or being pulled toward vision?
🔹 Napkin Thought: Energy fades when you push away from pain. Momentum builds when you pull toward vision.
🎯 ALIGN
The gravitational force is different in each case. Pain pushes hard when we’re close to it—but that push weakens as we get further away. Vision pulls gently at first—but that pull grows stronger the closer we get.
Leaders need to shift their alignment: stop relying on the diminishing push of pain, and start living inside the expanding pull of vision.
🔹 Reframe: “I need to stop…” → “I am moving toward…”
🔹 Mantra:“I am pulled by vision, not pushed by pain.”
🚀 ACT
Here’s how to build that shift into daily leadership practice:
🔹 Visualize your ideal state as if you’re living in it today. See it in detail.
🔹 Engage all five senses—what do you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell in that future?
🔹 Anchor it daily by journaling, sketching, or sharing your vision until it feels real.
When you embody the future you want, you pull it into the present—and that pull builds unstoppable momentum.
🔁 REMEMBER
Leaders who focus forward don’t just escape pain. They create possibility.
👉 What’s the vision that’s going to pull you today? Write it down on a napkin and share it with #PaperNapkinWisdom.
Week in Review
In Episode 287, digital media veteran and CiviSocial co-founder Sam Toles shares a simple yet powerful formula: Permission + Structure = Social Media Success. Drawing on leadership roles at MGM, Vimeo, and Warner Bros., Sam explains why teams thrive when they’re given the freedom to create boldly—paired with clear frameworks that keep ideas aligned and purposeful. The result isn’t more noise online, but real engagement, trust, and impact.
In Episode 288, entrepreneur and storyteller Katy Spada invites us into her journey of becoming an “accidental entrepreneur” who turned childhood daydreams into purpose‑driven reality. Through her brand Arya + Maan, Katy isn’t just creating products—she’s honoring heritage, nurturing creativity, and building a lasting legacy for her children and community. Join us for a heart‑driven conversation about designing a life that reflects the world you always wanted—and the courage it takes to start building it today.
Check them out here:
“Introducing the Edge of the Napkin”—from Paper Napkin Wisdom:
In this milestone episode, Govindh Jayaraman steps back to reflect on the journey of over 280 episodes and reveals a pivotal evolution for the podcast. The napkin—the symbolic canvas for distilled wisdom—now reaches its “edge,” the space where sparking ideas transform into lived action. It’s where bold simplicity meets real-world execution, and theory collides with experiment. This evolution is about turning principles into frameworks, building a community that applies those insights, and embracing the courage to start imperfectly and iterate. The change isn’t a departure, but a deepening—inviting leaders to step beyond ideas and into impact.
Make it a great week!
Govindh
Paper Napkin Wisdom
